I didn't realize how numb I was while living in the suburbs. I would spend a lot of time driving into the city for no reason, but now I get it. The downtown area and artsy sections had an energy that made me feel more alive than where I actually resided. Now I live in the country and have that truly "alive" feeling again. Different energy, but similar spiritual experience. Compared to how I grew up this is a very physically uncomfortable life, yet I feel alive. Maybe the equation (comfort=happiness) is not verifiable.